A Key to every hole

Rumor has it there's a key to every hole. No hole has two keys to open it, and no key can fit in more than one hole, not unless it's a master key or sumthing.

Many times life is also like that. There are situations where only one person/thing can handle. Like if you're in deep spiritual trouble, a pastor is well able to handle. Or if your sink is blocked, a plumber will end up doing a far much better job than your husband/boyfriend (assuming the two are totally different).

Relationships also tend to be the same way. Many times we keep stumbling over person after person, until we find the right one. There are those of us who date the 'wrong' person - either too short, too tall, too weird; just something about them that doesn't click with us. They may not necessarily be bad or outcasts, just not the right key yet. Something just goes missing.

Then, finally, the right one comes. Not necessarily in the apparel we want them in, but something clicks. Maybe the first day we saw them, may be a couple of months, or even years, but something just happens. The key fits in just right. Something feels complete, finally.

Others are lucky enough to find them the first time round, the rest of us find them later on, and there are others who, well, don't really get there. Either way, the one way to get the 'key' is patience. Don't just keep trying to make every key work, it may be exhausting, and by the time the right one comes along, you don't want to even look twice. Take your time, enjoy who you are, don't fumble over ill-fitting keys.

And when you find your key, guard it with all your heart, don't you ever lose it, coz you can never find a replacement for it.

To Marry, or not to marry, that is the question

There was once upon a time when marriage was the in-thing. Not only the in-thing, but the must-do-thing. Everyone HAD to get married. Those who weren't married were either thought of as jinxed, or just plain weird. Men so much so to look responsible, women as a way of performing their 'womanly' duties (or sumthing like that).

Well, of late, the pressure has really gone down (to the relief of very many, me included). At least now parents cannot come out of the blue to start on "biological clock ticking" stories, or "how would you look in society" or strange stories like those.

Which leads to the all-important question - Should I marry? Really. Must I marry? So what if I don't? Is there any specific consequence to singlehood? What now, isn't my freedom too precious? I don't have to worry about two, must I? I can pay rent whenever, however; I can visit and be visited without anyone being too particularly concerned; singlehood is really freeing and breath-taking. The options in singlehood are way more than those in marriage.

Now that marriage is becoming less and less compulsory, it's really becoming easier to sink into singlehood. Inasmuch as I believe marriage will not necessarily get extinct, it has a tough battle to fight with singlehood.

(Un)Happily ever after

Not everyone who says "I do" lives happily ever after.

I discovered that the strangest of ways. Being quite advanced in years (I can't really call myself old, neither can I call myself young), I've been invited to a serious number of weddings. Most, if not all, being of close friends and relatives. And I've also been invited to one or two baby showers, though I've not been able to go to any of them. I've seen many of them make vows of cherishing each other for ever and ever.

And I felt so much joy for them. I thought how lucky they could be. They found each other, they made the perfect match, and they will live with each other for ever and ever, and life has smiled greatly on them. They have no much to worry about. They will always have something to smile about, always. Their dreams have finally come to pass.

And at times I feel left out, and sad for me. That my dreams could not be fulfilled like them, that my Prince Charming isn't coming, and why I'm not living "happily ever after". Until it dawned on me. Not every "I do" ends up being a walk in the park.

Like I heard of a couple which got a divorce twenty-four hours after marriage. Twenty-four hours!! Others dwindle over time, for one reason or another, and what was rosy and yummy turns to dull and dry. And some still just live on day after day.

And I realized that just because they're all giggly and laughing at the ceremony, doesn't mean it'll be a walk in the park. And I need not feel left out, coz being single has its own fun moments any way. I realize that I shouldn't judge a marriage at face value, but wait to look days down the road to see what it really turned into.

So whenever you see them lovely smiles, dig deep, to see whether they're "(un)happily ever after". Don't be too quick to conclude.