Creating and recreating

God is in the process of creating and recreating my life, even though I don't know and see it. He is in the process of scripting my life, every minute of it.

He knew me before I was, knows me when I am, and after I am. He knows me when I 'm naughty and when I'm nice. He knows what I think before I even think it.

He orchestrates my life. He puts together all the good and bad things alike. He co-ordinates the good, bad and ugly to work all out. He makes things beautiful in His time, His kind of beauty, for His glory. He creates new situations, beautiful moments, and wonderful experiences. He also creates the dark and scary moments so I can learn to trust Him and remember who's in control.

He scripts my life. He knows what situation to bring at what time, what word to speak to me, and what moment to let me experience. He knows my role, He brings the right scenes, and speaks to my heart the right words to speak. He leads me through life, as the Master Scriptor, to ensure that I do as required.

God also recreates. He recreates the wasted years, the broken heart, the blurred vision, the eaten moments. He recreates my hopes, dreams and ambitions. He recreates me from the ashes and terrible stuff to new and beautiful creation. He recreates hopelessness into hope, and dead situations into abundant life.

He is a creator and recreator, he creates and recreates, and will do thus until I breathe my last.

Only God can

When I feel overwhelmed with life and all its ups and downs, when I feel like things aren't working like it's supposed to, when I feel stuck and can't go on...

When all my plans have failed, when my neat and squeaky clean plans get dirty, when my beautiful intentions feel like the worst form of propaganda...

When everyone I call friend doesn't understand or care, when those that are to help me cause my ruin, when those that I run to for help have had enough of me...

When I can't carry myself any more, when I feel like I weigh more than ten trucks and its early in the morning, when gravity feels more like a magnet pulling me down...

When the clouds are grey, the thunder roars, the rain pours, and there seems nothing to smile about...

When I can't jumpstart myself, then only God can.

Only God can take me from where I am, stuck, lonely, confused, heavy-laden, tired and move me on. Only God is strong enough to handle me in my weakest moments. Only God can bear to be with me when nobody can stand me. Only God can shelter me in the rain. Only God knows the end from the beginning, and orchestrates my life.

When I've more questions than answers, only God can.

A mile in God's shoes

At times I wonder how God feels, and how it feels like being God. I know it’s an overwhelming feeling, but at times I tend to want to experience just a little bit of it.

 

Like, how does it feel like to know EVERYTHING? To know more than everyone in the world combined? To know what was, is and is to come? How does it feel like to know what people have discovered before they have even discovered it? Is it weird to know the end of a thing before it even begins? Is it strange to know how humans feel without being human? Is it mind-boggling to know humans even more than they know themselves, yet not be able to open their eyes to the total truth?

 

Or, how does it feel to be EVERYWHERE? To be both in heaven and on earth (or even in Hell)? To see everywhere at the same time? Is it confusing to be at a wedding and a funeral at the same time? Is it strange to be in the hottest and coldest deserts at the same time? Does it feel weird to be in all the time zones at the same time? Or in the quietest and noisiest places in the same moment?

 

Is it overwhelming to live outside time? Do you ever feel pressed for time? Does it feel annoying when humans subject you to time? How does it feel when a thousand days are like a day, and a day like a thousand? How does it feel not to worry about being too late or too early, too much traffic, nightfall, day break, not enough sleep? How is it living outside something you created?

 

Truly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get such experiences (maybe after I get to Heaven), or even ask God such questions. But every so often, these thoughts cross my mind. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere between now and forever God will give me the opportunity to experience it. But between now and then, they remain just that – a deep desire.