The story of my life

OK. This is not the whole story, just the bit that can fit this time.

I remember, when I was a little girl (some where around kindergarten to Class 3) I wanted to be a teacher. I believed that teaching was the best profession in the world. Nobody in this world was greater than a teacher. That wasn't helped by the fact that I didn't know any other profession (apparently my parents were parents, I didn't see them as professionals).

Then I grew up some, and I wanted to become a stewardess. I thought that was the profession to have. I found them pretty to say the least. Their charming smiles, fresh make-ups, beautiful uniforms, what was there not to like? Not forgetting that they were constantly on the move, into newer, nicer territories on a daily basis while at work. I was thoroughly convinced that being a stewardess is the best job in the world.

Later on, I decided to be a pilot. Being a stewardess wasn't so bad, but I wanted the travel with the genius. Stewardesses were just not using their genius mind. I wanted a job that tested my brain power, and made me look and feel really smart. And I was convinced that piloting was the job for me. Hmmm...

After high school, I flipped the coin again. I wanted to be some computer genius. Well, I didn't make it to piloting school, my grades were quite demented for it. But not so for computers. So I did Computer Science. In the process, I realized my sincere love for computer programming, never mind I found it quite a challenge. But the challenge was worth it. I wasn't necessarily an A student in it, but it was one big adventure. I made a mental note that after graduation, I'll become a computer programmer.

After graduation, I've become anything but a computer programmer. The most I've come to computer handling is data entry, Facebooking, Tweeting, editing, anything but making sophisticated computer programs. And by the way things are going, I may deviate into some unknown territory. So much for setting careers.

In all this, I realize that though I plan and jot, God has the final say in my life. He knows the end from the beginning. He was there when I wanted to be all those things, and didn't accomplish them. He knows why none of them materialized. He had a plan for me even before I was born, and all I'm going through is just part of it.

So I officially hand my life over to Him. I let Him decide, ultimately, divinely, what He knows I should be. I let him finish this story, the story of my life. I let him lead me to wherever He wants me to be. I let the Author and Finisher of my faith author this story, and at the end of it all, He will be glorified, I will be fulfilled, and we'll all live happily ever after.

What's with the Joneses?

The Joneses are everywhere. They determine what we think, where we go, what we do, why we do it, how we do it. They have it better than us, they somehow know more than us (at times about us), they pretty much "rule the world". They determine the hair-do (and don'ts), the in-things (and out ones too), almost literally what happens on the earth as it goes round and round. If we are not careful, they can pretty much plan out our lives for us, and we will feel obliged to do it.

At times I wonder who invented the Joneses. Where did they come from, and what are they doing here? Who invented them? Who gave them so much power? Why do many of us have to tremble whenever we hang around them? What's with the awesomeness they're given? Why does everything have to come to a sudden halt just because they dropped by? But most of all, who gave us the mandate to follow them?

Why should the world come to a tumbling halt just because some I-got-more-than-you passed by? Why should I give more power to someone who doesn't think the same way I do? What gives them the audacity to be more than I am? Why should I live life like they're everything and more? What makes them so special?

What will happen if people just stopped keeping up with the Joneses? If everyone was content with who they are, and not look for someone to make them feel that extra special? If everyone looked within themselves, and more importantly, God, to find true contentment, instead of looking for acceptance in people? What if God became our ultimate, instead of the Joneses?

What if we all dropped the Joneses, and put God instead?

Lost, yet found

Of late, I've been going through some weird changes in my life, mostly spiritual. Everything seems awkward, and confused. My spiritual life hit some sort of snag. The hey days, when I'm on top of the world, when everything seems like a long Halleluyah song seems to have taken some sort of break. Those days when I would skip happily out of bed to embrace the world seem to have crawled into a rock somewhere.

Now, I get into bed, and wake up every morning wondering what may have happened. At times I feel like I need to jumpstart my spiritual life. My prayers have been reduced to tears and "Why me, oh why me?". I walk around wondering whether God is watching me from a distance, or is walking with me.

Yet, I find it ironic that He says He'll never leave us nor forsake us, He will be with us till the end of age, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, he will not leave us. I find it seriously interesting to note that though He seems far away, He is just but a whisper away. I may feel totally lost in all the emotional roller coaster, but He found me. He walks with me even when I don't hear his footsteps.

With all His promises, I get to realize I'm at one of those moments when I'm lost, yet found. I may be wandering about in life, but in reality He's guiding me in a way I can't fathom or imagine. I may feel like I'm swallowed up by some dark cloud, but even there He still is.

What a feeling, what a comforting feeling to know that He found me, no matter how lost I feel!!

Messy situations

There are those times in life when everything seems to be one big mess. When work doesn't seem to make any sense any more, home is cold and boring, the money in your bank account seems to be vapourising, when everything looks like one big bunch of baloney. Or spaghetti. Everything looks like a bowl of something messy. Life becomes one big confused state.

During those times, everything seems bleak, one thing seems to lead to another. The end of one problem pretty much looks like the beginning of another problem, and each seems to be excruciatingly long and endless. Handling each of the problems seems to be seriously overwhelming to say the least. You so badly wish you'd close your eyes, and open them, to find the bowl of mess utterly and completely gone.

It is important, then to realize during such times, that there is hope. Hope is the only thing that will keep you alive, that will give you a reason to wake up every and any morning. Hope is what will carry you safely to the other side. It's said that every cloud has a silver lining, and in many ways, it's true. Nothing lasts forever, soon that bowl of baloney and spaghetti will vanish, and the days of sipping pineapple juice basking on the beach without a care in the world will come.

So when life serves you that big bowl of baloney and spaghetti, don't be down for long, know that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Lost and found

Losing things are part of life. A frustrating part. Especially when the thing lost is deemed of utmost importance, or just when you need to use it. Like losing your keys just when you're about to leave the house, or losing your identity card. The frustration can be seriously overwhelming.

People too, get lost. Children get lost when they wander away from home, or from their parents at a public place. Adults get lost when they're in a new area and have no clue how to get to where they intend to go. And this can be just as frustrating as losing an object: the searching, the wondering what happened and how to get it, how to get where you need to get, ... It all feels somewhat scary.

And finding whatever was lost can be quite relieving, very exciting. The feeling you get after finding a lost object, depending on how much you valued it, is overwhelming, to say the least. Some scream with excitement, some hop about like sick bunnies, others run around chanting "I found it!!", and the more quiet ones just smile. A parent who finds her lost child squeezes them tightly, not willing to let them out of their sight for even one second.

The world is full of lost people. The Bible states: "All we like sheep have gone astray". God looks down and sees many lost people, people who have wandered away from him into the darkness. He sees His helpless children groping about, some absolutely lost, others trying to run away from the true Way. And He depends on us, those who have found the Way, to help find them. His utmost desire is that those who found the Way, call on others and help them find it too. He calls this the Great Commission. He deeply desires to squeeze and tightly hug his lost children. He utterly desires to see them in His Kingdom.

So let us all, in one way or another, find the lost and lead them back to their Father, who is eagerly waiting for them.

My final bow

So I was one of the many who was glued to Whitney Houston's funeral. Not from the start, but from somewhere in the middle. I must admit, it was not like many other funerals I've watched and attended. It has its' own va-voom. Actually, weird as it sounds, I loved it. Truly blown away by it.

Which took me back to my life. A couple of days after the funeral, I took a long, hard look at my life. How I lived it. How my funeral will be. When I go, will anyone cry for me? How will my funeral look like? Will my life be celebrated? How many lives will I have touched? How many people will be grateful that I lived? How many people will share warm stories and testimonies of what I did for them?

Better still, what about Jesus? Will my final bow on earth  be a triumphant entry to heaven? Will He give me the standing ovation He gave to Stephen at his death? Will he be exceedingly glad that his daughter's back? Will He welcome me with a smile and a hug? Is He anxiously waiting my return? Will He be waiting with my shiny crown in His hands?

I pray, that, when all is said and done, my final bow will not be one of sorrow,  but of joy, both to those on earth, and those in Heaven.