There was a time when marrying was (almost) the in-thing. Every girl's dream was to wear the long white dress and walk down the aisle, to be received by a wonderful guy! The intrinsic details of the beautiful wedding was all planned out.
Suddenly there dream is gone. Girls no longer wait and long for the day when Mr. Gorgeous will sweep them off their feet. I guess it's coz they're no longer there. Gentlemen went out of existence. Those guys who took time to charm a woman are no more. Even those who tried with lines so tired they couldn't stand on their own are gone. Nowadays men are just ... strange. Some are just plain and drab, others are big boys, others, well...
At times I wish I could find one - just one. A man with charm. A true and pure gentleman. I really look for one whose only intention is love and concern, and not strange dingy thoughts. I search daily for someone who is just himself, and not some 'look-what-I-got' guy. I'm looking for some old-school guy whose etiquette is beyond par.
If anyone spots him, let me know.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I kissed kissing frogs and beasts goodbye
There were those days, once upon a time when the in-thing to read were the happily-ever-after stories. Those stories had so much innocence, and strange mystique (in their own ways).
The other thing I also found interesting is the way people and characters changed. How the 'perfect one' was really ugly, and a kiss changed it all. They were all either beast or ugly frogs. And all you had to do was kiss it. That's it. Just kiss it. And a handsome prince is all yours for the taking.
Oh, how I wish it was that easy. But alas! How different they are! In the modern day age and world, I've seen real frogs and beasts of men. They may not be physically or emotionally violent, or vile, or anything, but nice isn't one of their greatest asset. Like I heard of this chic whose boyfriend would constantly pine and whine about her weight, and the poor girl was really working hard to fix it so he would love her more. Or a girl who would constantly had to bend over backwards to impress the 'man' of his dreams, knowing full well that he was using her but couldn't stand the thought of living without him.
These, and many more, are the frogs and beasts that encompass us. And, truth be told, them frogs and beasts exist all over us. Everywhere. And, so unlike the ones in the storybooks, no amount of kissing would make them any better. Being nice and bending over backwards and all sorts of things would not turn them to anything princely, instead, it'd worsen the situation. These frogs and beasts become more frogly and beastly the more they are kissed.
So I made a conscious decision - I won't waste my time and energy kissing frogs and beasts. I'm way better off being myself, loving myself and being just me. I don't need to be someone else, and be nicer just to make someone feel better. I don't need to concort myself, and do what you want me to do to make you feel better. I am good as me, take me as I am, or leave me be. I won't be kissing anyone's impossible wishes and dreams to make me happy. Goodbye frogs and beasts!
The other thing I also found interesting is the way people and characters changed. How the 'perfect one' was really ugly, and a kiss changed it all. They were all either beast or ugly frogs. And all you had to do was kiss it. That's it. Just kiss it. And a handsome prince is all yours for the taking.
Oh, how I wish it was that easy. But alas! How different they are! In the modern day age and world, I've seen real frogs and beasts of men. They may not be physically or emotionally violent, or vile, or anything, but nice isn't one of their greatest asset. Like I heard of this chic whose boyfriend would constantly pine and whine about her weight, and the poor girl was really working hard to fix it so he would love her more. Or a girl who would constantly had to bend over backwards to impress the 'man' of his dreams, knowing full well that he was using her but couldn't stand the thought of living without him.
These, and many more, are the frogs and beasts that encompass us. And, truth be told, them frogs and beasts exist all over us. Everywhere. And, so unlike the ones in the storybooks, no amount of kissing would make them any better. Being nice and bending over backwards and all sorts of things would not turn them to anything princely, instead, it'd worsen the situation. These frogs and beasts become more frogly and beastly the more they are kissed.
So I made a conscious decision - I won't waste my time and energy kissing frogs and beasts. I'm way better off being myself, loving myself and being just me. I don't need to be someone else, and be nicer just to make someone feel better. I don't need to concort myself, and do what you want me to do to make you feel better. I am good as me, take me as I am, or leave me be. I won't be kissing anyone's impossible wishes and dreams to make me happy. Goodbye frogs and beasts!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Growing up and liking it
Once upon a time a good friend of mine told me 'When you're young, you wish you'd grow up. When you grow up, you wish you were young again'. Or something like that.
My friend may have been true in many ways. Now that I'm all grown up, there are things I look at, like 'damn, I'm really old'. There are things that I did when I was younger that now I feel too old to do. Like when I was in college, I loved going to nocturnal events (good and morally upright ones). Now even begging me with tears streaming like a river won't make me even want to leave the house. I feel a little too old to do all that jumping-up-and-down-all-night stuff. There were those days when I loved music because of the beat, and the 'yeah-yeah-yeah yo-yo', now, whenever I listen to anything, I have to meditate on the words, and if the words don't make sense, I won't think twice about the song.
All that and more have made me think - I hope I'm not becoming boring. I remember in my heydays, I would find adults a little too boring. I wondered why they were so stiff. Until I recently realized I was one of them. I critiqued like they did, I think twice about anything like they did, I'm not so into things I was into before, the world is rather different from this point of view.
Whatever it is, I slowly had to realize growing up doesn't have to be boring. I may not have to 'shakey leggy' like I could when I was young, or get so excited coz Mr. Hunky-dorry fell in love with Ms. Sweet-and-pretty, but it has its own excitements. I'm glad that now I have totally full wisdom, and do not have to trip on things I did. Thinking twice has helped me make the right decisions over and over again, reducing the pains that'd have befallen me if I wouldn't. I may not be overly puppy-crazy over fashion and stuff, but I know when I buy something, I buy what I need, and I won't have to wonder later on why I bought something I don't even use.
So I guess there is something nice about whatever age, and all you gotta do is look for the roses in your age and smell them. It doesn't have to be drag and boring!
My friend may have been true in many ways. Now that I'm all grown up, there are things I look at, like 'damn, I'm really old'. There are things that I did when I was younger that now I feel too old to do. Like when I was in college, I loved going to nocturnal events (good and morally upright ones). Now even begging me with tears streaming like a river won't make me even want to leave the house. I feel a little too old to do all that jumping-up-and-down-all-night stuff. There were those days when I loved music because of the beat, and the 'yeah-yeah-yeah yo-yo', now, whenever I listen to anything, I have to meditate on the words, and if the words don't make sense, I won't think twice about the song.
All that and more have made me think - I hope I'm not becoming boring. I remember in my heydays, I would find adults a little too boring. I wondered why they were so stiff. Until I recently realized I was one of them. I critiqued like they did, I think twice about anything like they did, I'm not so into things I was into before, the world is rather different from this point of view.
Whatever it is, I slowly had to realize growing up doesn't have to be boring. I may not have to 'shakey leggy' like I could when I was young, or get so excited coz Mr. Hunky-dorry fell in love with Ms. Sweet-and-pretty, but it has its own excitements. I'm glad that now I have totally full wisdom, and do not have to trip on things I did. Thinking twice has helped me make the right decisions over and over again, reducing the pains that'd have befallen me if I wouldn't. I may not be overly puppy-crazy over fashion and stuff, but I know when I buy something, I buy what I need, and I won't have to wonder later on why I bought something I don't even use.
So I guess there is something nice about whatever age, and all you gotta do is look for the roses in your age and smell them. It doesn't have to be drag and boring!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Camouflage
Things aren't always what they seem. Life has its own form of camouflage. There are times when blessings come in strange disguises, and when disaster comes glittering.
Many times we've seen over and over again when there's a storm really brewing, and you wonder and wail over what is going on. But with much patience and perseverence, you realize it's not as bad as it seems. Like when there's unnecessarily heavy traffic, and you wait and cuss, thinking 'What the heck is happening?' Only to get to the office and find something really weird happen, and you were spared the hustle. Or when you meet this guy that looks, well, like a walking fashion disaster, but ends up being the gentleman of the year!
There are those times when when all that glitters really is not gold. When you think this cute hottie is all that, until you actually spend time with them. And you wonder 'what the heck?' Or when you see this very lovely thing on the shelf, and you think 'Wow, this is so nice, maybe I should buy it'. And when you get home, the thing just falls apart in your face, it's not even a day old. You end up wondering why you even bothered to buy.
Life has its own camouflage. And it's up to us to figure out what the real deal is about what it's throwing at us!
Many times we've seen over and over again when there's a storm really brewing, and you wonder and wail over what is going on. But with much patience and perseverence, you realize it's not as bad as it seems. Like when there's unnecessarily heavy traffic, and you wait and cuss, thinking 'What the heck is happening?' Only to get to the office and find something really weird happen, and you were spared the hustle. Or when you meet this guy that looks, well, like a walking fashion disaster, but ends up being the gentleman of the year!
There are those times when when all that glitters really is not gold. When you think this cute hottie is all that, until you actually spend time with them. And you wonder 'what the heck?' Or when you see this very lovely thing on the shelf, and you think 'Wow, this is so nice, maybe I should buy it'. And when you get home, the thing just falls apart in your face, it's not even a day old. You end up wondering why you even bothered to buy.
Life has its own camouflage. And it's up to us to figure out what the real deal is about what it's throwing at us!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Covetousness
Well, according to the Bible, it's wanting your neighbour's property or wife. Surprising they never said husband. Either way. A weird word, rarely thought of.
Talking of covetousness, I think nowadays it's more than that. If you'd ask me, I'd call it 'Keeping up with the Joneses'. Or 'Making an impression for the Joneses'. Nowadays people are in this strange hurry to look or appear what they aren't. And sadly, I've not been left behind. Many times when I bump into someone I know, I feel like changing into someone else and putting my best foot forward.
Especially if it's a close friend, worse, those who you knew recently. Like a friend in high school or college. When they show up with an 'I got this promotion' story, or 'What d'you think about my new car' statement, or worse 'I'm getting married to this Mr-Gorgeous guy'. Then I feel like 'maybe I should look for a story to make me look not so behind'. And then when you have a bad-hair day, and one of your friend shows up looking like a million bucks, and you just want the ground to swallow you.
Yeah, at times I feel like 'I wish I had just a pinch of the life they had'. Like 'I wish I had a boyfriend, so I could also have a story to tell', or 'I wish my boss would say something so I could look like I'm headed up'. That's my form of struggle with covetousness.
Well, I realized slowly by slowly, I should be free to be in my own skin. Boyfriend or not, car or not, promotion or not. I need to be me. I need not to want to be them, want to be sort of like them, have a story just like them. I just need to be me where I'm at. After all, it's my journey, and only I know where I'm headed, and how I'll get there.
So goodbye, fake, wanna-be me, hello real-and-authentic me!!
Talking of covetousness, I think nowadays it's more than that. If you'd ask me, I'd call it 'Keeping up with the Joneses'. Or 'Making an impression for the Joneses'. Nowadays people are in this strange hurry to look or appear what they aren't. And sadly, I've not been left behind. Many times when I bump into someone I know, I feel like changing into someone else and putting my best foot forward.
Especially if it's a close friend, worse, those who you knew recently. Like a friend in high school or college. When they show up with an 'I got this promotion' story, or 'What d'you think about my new car' statement, or worse 'I'm getting married to this Mr-Gorgeous guy'. Then I feel like 'maybe I should look for a story to make me look not so behind'. And then when you have a bad-hair day, and one of your friend shows up looking like a million bucks, and you just want the ground to swallow you.
Yeah, at times I feel like 'I wish I had just a pinch of the life they had'. Like 'I wish I had a boyfriend, so I could also have a story to tell', or 'I wish my boss would say something so I could look like I'm headed up'. That's my form of struggle with covetousness.
Well, I realized slowly by slowly, I should be free to be in my own skin. Boyfriend or not, car or not, promotion or not. I need to be me. I need not to want to be them, want to be sort of like them, have a story just like them. I just need to be me where I'm at. After all, it's my journey, and only I know where I'm headed, and how I'll get there.
So goodbye, fake, wanna-be me, hello real-and-authentic me!!
Virgins - an endangered species
There actually was a time when virginity was such a precious thing. To be a virgin was such an honor and a priviledge. There was a time when women said 'no', and valued their bodies to the max. There was a time when women actually looked down upon men who followed them around asking for sex.
And that was the same time when men really respected women. When men didn't take women for granted, and a true man was measured by how well he treated a woman. An honorable man didn't just take a woman for granted, but honored her by waiting for the wedding night.
Where did those days go? Just what happened to those days? What happened to self-respect? Where did the patience go? When did all the chaos and commotion begin? When did women start becoming so cheap and easy?
And why is it that a woman is frowned upon for being a virgin? And why are virgin women in such a hurry to not become a virgin? When did virgins become such a joke? Why is self respect such an issue? Can't virgins just be let be? Can't people respect someone from abstaining from sex? Why is it funny when someone wants to restrain and keep herself?
Either way, I believe that virgins are slowly by slowly fading. They're becoming rarer and rarer. They're becoming endangered, and anyone who finds one is almost on a mission to extinguish her. And I wish virgins would stand out and be proud. They have every right to. They are strongest of all women, especially in this day and age. I don't think they should shy away, I think they should stand out.
I am one of the few left. Anyone else?
And that was the same time when men really respected women. When men didn't take women for granted, and a true man was measured by how well he treated a woman. An honorable man didn't just take a woman for granted, but honored her by waiting for the wedding night.
Where did those days go? Just what happened to those days? What happened to self-respect? Where did the patience go? When did all the chaos and commotion begin? When did women start becoming so cheap and easy?
And why is it that a woman is frowned upon for being a virgin? And why are virgin women in such a hurry to not become a virgin? When did virgins become such a joke? Why is self respect such an issue? Can't virgins just be let be? Can't people respect someone from abstaining from sex? Why is it funny when someone wants to restrain and keep herself?
Either way, I believe that virgins are slowly by slowly fading. They're becoming rarer and rarer. They're becoming endangered, and anyone who finds one is almost on a mission to extinguish her. And I wish virgins would stand out and be proud. They have every right to. They are strongest of all women, especially in this day and age. I don't think they should shy away, I think they should stand out.
I am one of the few left. Anyone else?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Let it go
How many times have we heard that? Maybe one time too many. Till it almost becomes cliche.
But apparently, it has the most truth ever. Situations don't happen to be clung upon, but to be lived thru. Both the bad ones and the good ones. So many of us cling on these bad memories so much, and pity ourselves over this or that. Others literally live in those days. I must admit, I've been a culprit to this one too many times. Especially those embarrassing moments. Every time some form of deja-vu happens, or a trigger for that particular event, I almost go into panic mode. And there are also those days that were just trauma in lieu, and people just want to hang to those days, remembering how terrible, terrible those days were!!
The good days aren't spared either. At times it gets really annoying when people constantly remember the 'good, old days', and never move past. They're constantly on that one occasion. And matters are only made worse when the person looks like something else. You almost want to ask 'So why aren't you moving on to something newer and better?' D'you have to get so stuck there? Move on, dude!
But apparently, it has the most truth ever. Situations don't happen to be clung upon, but to be lived thru. Both the bad ones and the good ones. So many of us cling on these bad memories so much, and pity ourselves over this or that. Others literally live in those days. I must admit, I've been a culprit to this one too many times. Especially those embarrassing moments. Every time some form of deja-vu happens, or a trigger for that particular event, I almost go into panic mode. And there are also those days that were just trauma in lieu, and people just want to hang to those days, remembering how terrible, terrible those days were!!
The good days aren't spared either. At times it gets really annoying when people constantly remember the 'good, old days', and never move past. They're constantly on that one occasion. And matters are only made worse when the person looks like something else. You almost want to ask 'So why aren't you moving on to something newer and better?' D'you have to get so stuck there? Move on, dude!
Going thru the motions
Well, there are those times when things go just as well as planned. Then there are other times... well, life just doesn't go as planned. When the promotion doesn't happen, the pretty chic/handsome guy doesn't show up, when the baby just isn't coming... there are those times.
Those are the days you feel like going thru the motions. Life seems to have no desire at all. You go through life just because. Things happen like clockwork, thoughtlessly. Going thru life is like one long sleepwalk. Things happen like there's no choice. Everything seems so routine.
At such times we need a push. Something to brighten our day. Doesn't have to be big, just a ray of hope. Anything to disrupt the sequence for a few seconds, or a few minutes. A baby's smile, a call from a close friend, someone to say hello...
Either way. Everyone has those days they go thru life like a zombie.
Those are the days you feel like going thru the motions. Life seems to have no desire at all. You go through life just because. Things happen like clockwork, thoughtlessly. Going thru life is like one long sleepwalk. Things happen like there's no choice. Everything seems so routine.
At such times we need a push. Something to brighten our day. Doesn't have to be big, just a ray of hope. Anything to disrupt the sequence for a few seconds, or a few minutes. A baby's smile, a call from a close friend, someone to say hello...
Either way. Everyone has those days they go thru life like a zombie.
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