Everybody knows who Judas is. Everybody knows what he did. How he handed over Jesus to the Romans for crucifixion. Everyone knows how he handed over Jesus to the Pharisees. And how he was so riddled with guilt, that he threw away all his cash and went to kill himself.
But the one thing I really do - my heart goes out for him. Really. Not so much for what he did, but for how he ended it all. It may be true that what he did was very drastic and chaotic, but he didn't have to end it that way. If only he'd have waited. If only he'd have waited for three days, just three, to ask for forgiveness from Jesus. He'd have given it freely, and also a second chance to life again..
The one thing I never knew is that we are almost so like him. In many ways. Like him, we have at one time done something so drastic, that it had seriously dire repercussions. Like him, we did whatever it was out of selfish interest and for self gain. And when all was said and done, the guilt was too much to bear. It may not have caused a death, it may not necessarily be stabbing someone in the back, but it may be a crime that, if you would turn back the hands of time, it would never have happened.
Like the man who committed suicide after cheating on his wife when he was out on business. Or the girl who ended her life after realizing she's pregnant, just because of the shame and embarrassment and the 'good girl' image she painted to society was at stake. Or the deacon who was a gambler but due to guilt and shame ended his life.
But unlike Judas, may we all wait. Just wait. When that time comes, and what you've done is too much to bear, may we wait, and go to God for forgiveness. May we not be too rash to end it so badly and painfully. I pray that we all not listen to guilt and shame, rather look to Jesus for forgiveness, and live a new life. It may not be like the old, but it's way better than killing yourself for something repairable.
I earnestly hope and pray when that moment comes, I won't call it quits so soon.
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