Covetousness

Well, according to the Bible, it's wanting your neighbour's property or wife. Surprising they never said husband. Either way. A weird word, rarely thought of.

Talking of covetousness, I think nowadays it's more than that. If you'd ask me, I'd call it 'Keeping up with the Joneses'. Or 'Making an impression for the Joneses'. Nowadays people are in this strange hurry to look or appear what they aren't. And sadly, I've not been left behind. Many times when I bump into someone I know, I feel like changing into someone else and putting my best foot forward.

Especially if it's a close friend, worse, those who you knew recently. Like a friend in high school or college. When they show up with an 'I got this promotion' story, or 'What d'you think about my new car' statement, or worse 'I'm getting married to this Mr-Gorgeous guy'. Then I feel like 'maybe I should look for a story to make me look not so behind'. And then when you have a bad-hair day, and one of your friend shows up looking like a million bucks, and you just want the ground to swallow you.

Yeah, at times I feel like 'I wish I had just a pinch of the life they had'. Like 'I wish I had a boyfriend, so I could also have a story to tell', or 'I wish my boss would say something so I could look like I'm headed up'. That's my form of struggle with covetousness.

Well, I realized slowly by slowly, I should be free to be in my own skin. Boyfriend or not, car or not, promotion or not. I need to be me. I need not to want to be them, want to be sort of like them, have a story just like them. I just need to be me where I'm at. After all, it's my journey, and only I know where I'm headed, and how I'll get there.

So goodbye, fake, wanna-be me, hello real-and-authentic me!!